I was driving home, with my children, after a long day of Bible study, a lunch date and a play date. Knowing it was a bad idea to stay out as long as we did, and skip naps, I was ready for the whining and crying on the way home. And just as I expected, that is what I got before I could even buckle my own belt.
Once the children calmed down and gained composure I decided I would ask them if they wanted a sucker, they both shouted yes please with excitement. Both my husband and I have a “twin” child...one that acts and looks just like us, that being said, they also enjoy desert like us; one enjoys their dessert slowly, savoring every bit...even choosing to save some for later. The other child feverishly tears into the desert and inhales it without breathing, never leaving so much as a morsel for later. On this particular day, my 5 year old chose to offer a lick of her lollipop to her 2 year old sister, who generally inhales her dessert, this day was no different only it wouldn't be her treat that she would inhale...
Upon licking her big sister’s lollipop, she chomped down and ate the entire thing. Needless to say, this let out the roaring lion that lives in my 5 year old. She was angry, and rightfully so. I was able to capture her attention and explain how sorry I was that her sister took advantage of her kindness. I showed her sympathy and empathy and let her know that I would bless her for choosing to show kindness to her sister, so long as she patiently waited for us to get home. I encouraged her not to take matters into her own hands, because I wouldn't be able to bless her if she did. I foresaw her snatching her sisters lollipop and biting it or hitting her sister. I didn’t tell her how I would repay her kindness to her sister or avenge the situation, I just asked her to trust that I would. She told me that she trusted me.
Moments later I pulled into the driveway and before shutting off the car I gave her very precise directions for what to do and not to do in the transition to the house. “Rosie, when we get in the house, take your shoes off, wash your hands and I will deal with your sister. When I am done, I will repay your kindness, DO NOT touch your sister”. No sooner than did I turn off the car and get out did I hear a shriek from my 2 year old. I knew that Rosie did not wait for me to avenge the situation and handle the issue, I knew in that moment, as she always did, she took matters into her own hands. Little did she know I planned to take her sister’s lollipop away and give Rosie a cookie in place of her kindness to her sister and avenge the fact that her sister took advantage of her kindness and ate her entire sucker in one bite.
When I realized what happened I wanted to yell at Rosie for acting as she always had, on her own accord, never having patience or trusting that I had her back. I wanted to lay into her for not allowing me to bless her as I said I would and handle the situation I promised to handle...and just as I was about to open my mouth and pour out my frustration, in word vomit, on my daughter, the Lord spoke to my spirit saying, “The life of your children bears the imprint of your character...how often do you not respond the same way, though My Word says, “Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter “ ? (Proverbs 20:22)
In that very moment I realized that I am so guilty of seeking justice myself and righting the wrongs I endure, rather than allowing God to use Him for his purpose and Glory. I always want to “fix” the problem and avenge my own problems rather then patiently wait for the Lord, who promises He will avenge evil on our behalf. Thus, by doing so I miss out on the blessing he may want me to have and experience as I wait. He may want to reward the kind act that was taken for granted by another, but my godless action now can’t allow for that blessing to take place.
What I meant to be a lesson for my daughter about trusting me to help her and right the wrong, turned into a lesson that God wanted me to also experience. So instead of getting to bless her the way I wanted and talk to her about waiting patiently and talk about how God acts on our behalf so we can trust Him...God wanted to show me, that I can’t really offer that lesson until I can follow it myself.
So, there Rosie sat, writing sentences for laying her hands on her sister and getting spanked for eating her sister’s sucker and there I sat, wondering how God turned my teaching moment into His, as He so often does. I have come to accept that my children are a mirror of my relationship with God. Very often the same struggles I am facing with my children and the same lessons I am trying to teach my children, I realize are the same ones I am facing with God and that he is trying to teach me.
Don't worry baby sister got her discipline too, and poor Rosie couldn't get the cookie I wanted to give her because she had already had a treat, when she chose to finish her sisters.
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