I recall feeling "rich" as a child. We didn't have much, yet I felt like we had it all! We never took family vacations, never even took staycations...yet I felt RICH! I had no idea my mom was facing financial despair, especially after being kicked off her insurance (back then it was legal to do that). My mom was a warrior, she fought cancer, worked to jobs and raised three girls...needless to say there just wasn't any money...but I didn't know that until I was much older and she had been gone for at least a decade. The way my mom spoiled us and others one would assume we had money for days...she wasn't frivolous, she was calculated.
Looking back I would say my mother's love language was likely words of affirmation and quality time, but she would show love by giving gifts and offering words of affirmation. We are the same in that way...I absolutely love to spoil the ones I love. If I weren't a die hard budget person I would spend with no regard, just to lavish the ones I love (and sometimes I do....but usually just my husband). With this being my way of showing love I had to come up with ways to lavish ones I love without spending the money...especially because we are a one income family. Over the years I have gotten pretty good at it. Most gifts are sentimental gifts, which is funny because I'm not really a sentimentalist.
I know there are others like me...others who love to lavish an abundance of love, appreciation and gifts on others...yet despise that they "can't afford" to do it in they way they wish they could. So, in light of that I have put together a list of ideas that will allow you to lavish the friends you love!
Cost free or almost cost free:
* Invite a friend over for coffee or tea and have their favorite dessert waiting for them
* Invite them to your favorite park and pack a lunch for two
* Offer to take their children so they can have a day to themselves or an evening with their spouse
* Use your gifts and talents to do something for them (maybe refinish a piece of furniture they have been meaning to do, take family photos for them, help them reorganize a space you know they have been wanting to do, help with a household project they want to undertake, but aren't sure how to do)
* Make a homemade gift basket with goodies from your garden, a homemade spa basket, perhaps a nice "cozy" basket with some knit/sewn/crocheted gifts
* Write them a letter detailing your gratefulness and love for them and include a $5 gift card to their favorite coffee place
* Maybe you have a friend that is a missionary, it would be great to host a yard sale, put together a fundraiser and give them the proceeds or get together donations of things they need and send them their way
* Pray for them and keep a journal of the things God has put on your heart for them and keep track of how you see it being played out in their life, then offer them the journal on a particularly hard day...so that they can be reminded of all the ways the Lord has kept them.
* Sometimes when I'm out I see something that reminds me of someone...if it's in the budget I get it...sometimes it's as simple as a notepad that has a saying that embraces the exact personality of a friend (I recently picked up a set of notepads that say: Live, Laugh, Create....when I saw it one person popped in my head, I knew I had to get them!)
* Volunteer somewhere together...I find the best way to invite joy into your life is by bringing joy to others.
* Gift a book, that really moved you or that you enjoyed, to a friend you think would enjoy it
I have learned that there are times that God places something on your heart for a special friend, he places an idea in your head and embeds it in your heart. Sometimes these "gifts" seem too expensive, too time consuming or you just don't see how it can be possible to give with such extravagance when you yourself are lacking resources...but I have learned that when God wills it, there will be a way. This exact thing just happened to me.
We visited a church down the road from our home. While there Josh picked up a booklet on the ministries and events going on at the church. While reading through it the next day I noticed that there was a "new member weekend retreat". In that very moment God had placed a family on my heart...As I asked Him about it and prayed about it I realized that he wanted us to bless this family by paying their way to the retreat. My response was, God....now is a really tight time to suggest such a thing; we have a wedding that may take place in Brazil, windows that need replacing, our income is going to reduce almost 1K a month...I just don't see how this is going to work...It was though I felt him smile at me and just shake His head, as if He was saying, "Dori, don't you know who I am by now and what I can do?" So in obedience, I called this family up and asked what they had planned that weekend...I came to find out how badly they wanted to attend, but knew they couldn't afford it. I also knew the month of this retreat was a very hard month for them as it marked the loss of one of their precious children and the due date of a child they miscarried. Sometimes, God will call you to give a more extravagant gift then you think you are incapable of giving...but then He will be the one to provide the means to give it...not you...and in those moments you realize how small you are and how great He is. Sometimes the gifts you give to others won't even be from you...they will be from God who will choose to use you to provide it; to me, those are the best gifts. I've been on the receiving end of those gifts...those are the ones that leave you speechless and in awe.
So I encourage you, don't be discouraged by what you can't do, be encouraged by what God can do and what He can allow you to do. What gift will you give today; a prayer, a phone call maybe donuts from a famous bakery in your town?
Looking back I would say my mother's love language was likely words of affirmation and quality time, but she would show love by giving gifts and offering words of affirmation. We are the same in that way...I absolutely love to spoil the ones I love. If I weren't a die hard budget person I would spend with no regard, just to lavish the ones I love (and sometimes I do....but usually just my husband). With this being my way of showing love I had to come up with ways to lavish ones I love without spending the money...especially because we are a one income family. Over the years I have gotten pretty good at it. Most gifts are sentimental gifts, which is funny because I'm not really a sentimentalist.
I know there are others like me...others who love to lavish an abundance of love, appreciation and gifts on others...yet despise that they "can't afford" to do it in they way they wish they could. So, in light of that I have put together a list of ideas that will allow you to lavish the friends you love!
Cost free or almost cost free:
* Invite a friend over for coffee or tea and have their favorite dessert waiting for them
* Invite them to your favorite park and pack a lunch for two
* Offer to take their children so they can have a day to themselves or an evening with their spouse
* Use your gifts and talents to do something for them (maybe refinish a piece of furniture they have been meaning to do, take family photos for them, help them reorganize a space you know they have been wanting to do, help with a household project they want to undertake, but aren't sure how to do)
* Make a homemade gift basket with goodies from your garden, a homemade spa basket, perhaps a nice "cozy" basket with some knit/sewn/crocheted gifts
* Write them a letter detailing your gratefulness and love for them and include a $5 gift card to their favorite coffee place
* Maybe you have a friend that is a missionary, it would be great to host a yard sale, put together a fundraiser and give them the proceeds or get together donations of things they need and send them their way
* Pray for them and keep a journal of the things God has put on your heart for them and keep track of how you see it being played out in their life, then offer them the journal on a particularly hard day...so that they can be reminded of all the ways the Lord has kept them.
* Sometimes when I'm out I see something that reminds me of someone...if it's in the budget I get it...sometimes it's as simple as a notepad that has a saying that embraces the exact personality of a friend (I recently picked up a set of notepads that say: Live, Laugh, Create....when I saw it one person popped in my head, I knew I had to get them!)
* Volunteer somewhere together...I find the best way to invite joy into your life is by bringing joy to others.
* Gift a book, that really moved you or that you enjoyed, to a friend you think would enjoy it
I have learned that there are times that God places something on your heart for a special friend, he places an idea in your head and embeds it in your heart. Sometimes these "gifts" seem too expensive, too time consuming or you just don't see how it can be possible to give with such extravagance when you yourself are lacking resources...but I have learned that when God wills it, there will be a way. This exact thing just happened to me.
We visited a church down the road from our home. While there Josh picked up a booklet on the ministries and events going on at the church. While reading through it the next day I noticed that there was a "new member weekend retreat". In that very moment God had placed a family on my heart...As I asked Him about it and prayed about it I realized that he wanted us to bless this family by paying their way to the retreat. My response was, God....now is a really tight time to suggest such a thing; we have a wedding that may take place in Brazil, windows that need replacing, our income is going to reduce almost 1K a month...I just don't see how this is going to work...It was though I felt him smile at me and just shake His head, as if He was saying, "Dori, don't you know who I am by now and what I can do?" So in obedience, I called this family up and asked what they had planned that weekend...I came to find out how badly they wanted to attend, but knew they couldn't afford it. I also knew the month of this retreat was a very hard month for them as it marked the loss of one of their precious children and the due date of a child they miscarried. Sometimes, God will call you to give a more extravagant gift then you think you are incapable of giving...but then He will be the one to provide the means to give it...not you...and in those moments you realize how small you are and how great He is. Sometimes the gifts you give to others won't even be from you...they will be from God who will choose to use you to provide it; to me, those are the best gifts. I've been on the receiving end of those gifts...those are the ones that leave you speechless and in awe.
So I encourage you, don't be discouraged by what you can't do, be encouraged by what God can do and what He can allow you to do. What gift will you give today; a prayer, a phone call maybe donuts from a famous bakery in your town?
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