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Only God Knows For Sure

All of my life I have been a planner. I have a very type A personality. I need a plan a....b,c,d,e and f. Since being married it seems as though my plan a,b,c,d,e and f always fail; my husband feels the same way. Funny enough, it feels like every plan we make turns out the exact opposite of what we planned. This has been a point of much frustration to me…The only thing I knew for sure, my plans were not foiled because of God; and I knew he would never be to blame.  

It dawned on me that in most of our plan making we never consulted the Lord. We lived on assumption, human desire and human ability to plan. Let me give you an example: I always assumed that after we had our first child we would be playing (basketball) overseas for about 7 more years before retiring. I had it in my mind that I would homeschool and we would raise little jet setting babies.

Well, here we are a year after Roselyn is born and we are stateside. The last jet we set was when R was 10 weeks old. I cannot be sure why the Lord did not prepare for us another team this season. I spent months trying to understand. My husband is a great player (that is not me being his wife that is honest), he is dedicated, he is the first one to practice and the last to leave, he is not a trouble maker, doesn't drink/smoke/and party like many players we know, he is a coaches dream and stats to prove it. Knowing all of this, I know that it must not have been God's plan for us. I love my life as a basketball wife. I loved the time we got to spend together, the excitement of the games and above all the travel, food and leisure. I foolishly assumed it would continue, until we decided we were done.

It finally dawned on me. We make our plans but the Lord directs our steps (prov 16:9)...that means we may achieve our plan a little differently then we planned. While it is still my prayer that the Lord opens another door for us to return overseas I can accept it if He does not. For I do not know the plans God has for us, but I do know that He plans to prosper us, give us a future and a hope (Jer 29:11). He knows what is best for us and being stateside at this present time must be what is best. 

While this is not what we planned for, not mentally or financially the Lord has been faithful in meeting all of our needs and opening doors for us. All of this made me realize giving our children the jet setting, cultured life we desired is not nearly as important as giving them the tools to live out a godly life, depending and trusting in Him in every season.We can still raise them to be cultured and appreciative of differences without living it first hand; but getting them to understand Christ's love for them cannot be done without living it.

So Lord, knowing that you posses all knowledge and understanding, knowing that you have all the love in the world for us, and knowing that you began a work in us and you will bring it to completion (Phil 1:6) let us go forth and carry out your plans for our life, and not our own.


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