Frustration to the up-most: What we have when we cannot control things in life. When I feel out of control I feel most helpless. I need control, it is my professed weakness. God deals with me constantly in this aspect of my life. This is my wilderness lesson that God repeats year after year in my life. He may spend the next 40 years beating me with this lesson, and I welcome it, because with each beating He opens my eyes. Unfortunately, I cannot understand why the lesson does not sink in so I can move onto a different lesson. Since arriving in Israel, as many of you know, life has presented us with MANY challenges. I guess I wasn't expecting these challenges. See, the year before my husband and I got married I prayed over every aspect of life by categories (as not to forget anything) every day of every week. Our first year of marriage was so smooth, Josh's basketball contract and everything that went with it was perfect! So I did the same knowing we had baby on the way...and I...
This blog is meant to be totally transparent. I believe transparency helps us identify, it helps us feel "normal", it helps us cope, it helps us learn...transparency is key in helping others and allowing others to help you become better. What is written here will be raw and honest, it won't always make me look good...but that isn't what I want. I don't want to look good, I want to be real...sometimes real is ugly.