I wish that I had people to show me and tell me how to live life effectively and to the fullest while living overseas. There is no guide to help you learn how to take life by the reigns in a foreign land. Truth be told, living overseas or in a foreign land is challenging. There is no 'right way' to do it, but there are a lot of 'wrong ways' to do it.
Something I have never been comfortable with is change, adjusting and inconsistency. I grew up with a very predictable life. There were no real worries. I went to the same school, lived in the same town, had the same friends, played the same sports with the same people, had the same teachers as my siblings...I knew just what to expect. Life was easy, it came naturally.
Fast forward years later, post college and grad school, enter married life with a baby on the way moving from country to country. How do you manage change, lack of consistency, uncertainty and life in a foreign place?
I am still looking for that answer, but along the way there are a few things I have learned to do and not to do. I want to share about how to grab hold of the reigns while living abroad. Like I said, there is not 'right way' but there are a lot of wrong ways. I learned the 'right ways' by learning the 'wrong ways' first.
How to live abroad: The do's and don'ts
1. Don't compare life 'at home' to life in your 'new home overseas'. They are not comparable.
2. Do not dwell on that you don't have here (abroad)
3. Don't ruminate in all the things you are 'missing' at home (family, work opportunities, material things)
4. Do understand that different isn't always bad
5. Do take time to ask yourself who you want to be in your 'new home'. You get to choose your identity and you have a chance to 'start over' all the time.
6. Take advantage of all that is around you....travel, try new foods, learn the language, make friends, be involved.
7. Start new traditions of your own: For Josh and myself, since we cannot be with family on holidays we take the holidays as a great time to travel and enjoy one another. We usually spend the days before, of and after a holiday like Christmas or our birthdays enjoying small trips, excursions, and taking time to see things we otherwise would not have the chance to see.
8. Know that you will always miss what you don't have. I learned this upon coming home from France...when I was in France I missed home, when I came home, I missed France (and still do).
9. Do here what you would do at home. If you like to craft at home, craft here (abroad) if you like to volunteer at home volunteer here....I have learned that language barriers can be broken with love, kindness, and acceptance.
10. One of best experiences I had abroad was having a conversation in two different languages....while I didn't understand word for word what was being spoken and they could not understand my response, it was still a rich conversation full of gestures, laughs, a bit of frustration but a good kind...It's hard to explain unless youdo it yourself . It's okay to do things that don't make sense.
I have made several mistakes while living overseas. First, no matter what I tell myself or how I prepare myself....I do spend the first several weeks complaining in my head and even aloud. I ruminate in all the things I miss about home, I resist life here at first....sometimes I even get bitter. Then at some point, it goes away. I learn to live here. Of course I miss what is at home, but I learn to love what I have here. I am just getting to that point here in Israel. I have been here 6 weeks and I am just now learning to live. I have spent so much time thinking of all I don't have here, all that I am missing out on at home...I have to stop comparing.
So in embracing my new life in Israel these are things I am thankful for here (many of which I don't have back home).
1. I have a rich backyard with an olive tree, a pomegranate tree, an orange tree, a clementine tree, a grapefruit tree, a lemon tree and trees that bloom all year long with flowers. (I don't have this at home).
2. I have a neighborhood with great sidewalks and play places for children (I don't have this at home)
3. I live in a community where volunteer work is highly prized and done (I don't have this at home)
4. I have a chance to develop a deeper relationship with my husband...not having family and friends around to depend on for some things makes you more connected and dependent as a couple.
5. I am thankful for learned patience. This is one thing that DOES NOT come easy for me. It is hard getting used to other peoples time schedules and understandings of 'importance'. What I can get done in one day in the USA can take 3 days to a week to get done abroad.
6. I am thankful for the way life abroad challenges my relationship with God. I learn more about who He is and how He supplies my needs and not man. It is challenging to live abroad and maintain a strong relationship with God....you have to be your own accountability partner. Often it is hard or impossible to find a church or believers where you live. You have to make time, dedicate your life to Him and be consistent...and I fail at this often.
7. I am thankful to learn about a new culture, new ways of life and traditions.
8. I am thankful for the new relationships and connections we make in each country we visit.
9. I am thankful that life changes too much to get boring....there is always something to try, something to fix, to get done, to learn, to see, to do and to be a part of.
10. I am thankful that I cannot get comfortable enough to not depend on God....our life is full of uncertainty....FULL of it....uncertainty keeps the prayer life strong!
The best advice I can give: Don’t take all your old ways, beliefs, customs and habits with you to your new home – be prepared to change, to learn, to find ways around and ways forward, open your mind and see opportunity rather than obstacles.
So while I haven't mastered it yet, and I am getting ready to welcome a whole new area of concern (a baby) into the mix of something we haven't figured out yet, I am certain that God will see us through. So here is to 6 months of grabbing life by the reigns in Israel!
Step one of accepting my life here: Doing things that make me happy. Today that meant going for a walk and picking fresh flowers to put on the table!
Something I have never been comfortable with is change, adjusting and inconsistency. I grew up with a very predictable life. There were no real worries. I went to the same school, lived in the same town, had the same friends, played the same sports with the same people, had the same teachers as my siblings...I knew just what to expect. Life was easy, it came naturally.
Fast forward years later, post college and grad school, enter married life with a baby on the way moving from country to country. How do you manage change, lack of consistency, uncertainty and life in a foreign place?
I am still looking for that answer, but along the way there are a few things I have learned to do and not to do. I want to share about how to grab hold of the reigns while living abroad. Like I said, there is not 'right way' but there are a lot of wrong ways. I learned the 'right ways' by learning the 'wrong ways' first.
How to live abroad: The do's and don'ts
1. Don't compare life 'at home' to life in your 'new home overseas'. They are not comparable.
2. Do not dwell on that you don't have here (abroad)
3. Don't ruminate in all the things you are 'missing' at home (family, work opportunities, material things)
4. Do understand that different isn't always bad
5. Do take time to ask yourself who you want to be in your 'new home'. You get to choose your identity and you have a chance to 'start over' all the time.
6. Take advantage of all that is around you....travel, try new foods, learn the language, make friends, be involved.
7. Start new traditions of your own: For Josh and myself, since we cannot be with family on holidays we take the holidays as a great time to travel and enjoy one another. We usually spend the days before, of and after a holiday like Christmas or our birthdays enjoying small trips, excursions, and taking time to see things we otherwise would not have the chance to see.
8. Know that you will always miss what you don't have. I learned this upon coming home from France...when I was in France I missed home, when I came home, I missed France (and still do).
9. Do here what you would do at home. If you like to craft at home, craft here (abroad) if you like to volunteer at home volunteer here....I have learned that language barriers can be broken with love, kindness, and acceptance.
10. One of best experiences I had abroad was having a conversation in two different languages....while I didn't understand word for word what was being spoken and they could not understand my response, it was still a rich conversation full of gestures, laughs, a bit of frustration but a good kind...It's hard to explain unless you
I have made several mistakes while living overseas. First, no matter what I tell myself or how I prepare myself....I do spend the first several weeks complaining in my head and even aloud. I ruminate in all the things I miss about home, I resist life here at first....sometimes I even get bitter. Then at some point, it goes away. I learn to live here. Of course I miss what is at home, but I learn to love what I have here. I am just getting to that point here in Israel. I have been here 6 weeks and I am just now learning to live. I have spent so much time thinking of all I don't have here, all that I am missing out on at home...I have to stop comparing.
So in embracing my new life in Israel these are things I am thankful for here (many of which I don't have back home).
1. I have a rich backyard with an olive tree, a pomegranate tree, an orange tree, a clementine tree, a grapefruit tree, a lemon tree and trees that bloom all year long with flowers. (I don't have this at home).
2. I have a neighborhood with great sidewalks and play places for children (I don't have this at home)
3. I live in a community where volunteer work is highly prized and done (I don't have this at home)
4. I have a chance to develop a deeper relationship with my husband...not having family and friends around to depend on for some things makes you more connected and dependent as a couple.
5. I am thankful for learned patience. This is one thing that DOES NOT come easy for me. It is hard getting used to other peoples time schedules and understandings of 'importance'. What I can get done in one day in the USA can take 3 days to a week to get done abroad.
6. I am thankful for the way life abroad challenges my relationship with God. I learn more about who He is and how He supplies my needs and not man. It is challenging to live abroad and maintain a strong relationship with God....you have to be your own accountability partner. Often it is hard or impossible to find a church or believers where you live. You have to make time, dedicate your life to Him and be consistent...and I fail at this often.
7. I am thankful to learn about a new culture, new ways of life and traditions.
8. I am thankful for the new relationships and connections we make in each country we visit.
9. I am thankful that life changes too much to get boring....there is always something to try, something to fix, to get done, to learn, to see, to do and to be a part of.
10. I am thankful that I cannot get comfortable enough to not depend on God....our life is full of uncertainty....FULL of it....uncertainty keeps the prayer life strong!
The best advice I can give: Don’t take all your old ways, beliefs, customs and habits with you to your new home – be prepared to change, to learn, to find ways around and ways forward, open your mind and see opportunity rather than obstacles.
So while I haven't mastered it yet, and I am getting ready to welcome a whole new area of concern (a baby) into the mix of something we haven't figured out yet, I am certain that God will see us through. So here is to 6 months of grabbing life by the reigns in Israel!
Step one of accepting my life here: Doing things that make me happy. Today that meant going for a walk and picking fresh flowers to put on the table!
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